Hiding From Politics in an Election Year

I considered writing a flat-out political entry today, in commemoration of the UK general election, but some tiny spark of common sense pulled me back. I If there’s one surefire way to offend most of my tiny readership, it would be attempting to offer “advice” on that subject.

So instead, I bring you a short guide on how to carry on your normal life when politics really starts dominating everything. I stress, I’m not advocating political apathy; I will be voting and I would never discourage anyone else from doing so, but y’know. We can’t live this stuff all the time. People would die during small talk.

And I’m half-convinced that the level of political bombardment during elections puts people off participating anyway. So, what can one do for peace and quiet?

Cower In The Dark

Based on my experience over the last week or three, it’s going to be all politics, all the time on the news, in the papers; even on Twitter, the issues will dominate. Which is downright disconcerting, because I view Twitter as a massive worldwide broadcasting system for information about what I had for lunch.

So, by logical extension, the only remaining choice is to turn it all off, be impervious to all broadcasts and basically hide? Well, it would probably work, but I think we enjoy feeling like we’re aware of what is going on in some way. If I had no connection whatsoever to the outside world at any time, it would feel wrong.

So, yeah, nice plan if you can work it, but if you don’t want to become a reality-leper, what’s the alternative?

Scheduled Filtration

Sounds a bit like something done to your urine in hospital, doesn’t it?

That aside, this is my basic solution. Once you’ve looked at enough politics crap, you eventually learn the words. Once you know enough of them, assuming you are not struck blind, you can often identify them from a distance and take evasive action. Do not look at news sites on principle, don’t click on links in Twitter messages containing certain keywords, avoid avoid avoid.

Honestly, this is not fool-proof. Eventually something will be too tempting. To be honest, you’d be better off opting for total seclusion, but that would be dull. So just run, fast, in the opposite direction, especially if you’re meant to be doing something else.

People Introductions

Unfortunately, although you can ignore the news and the internet with a burst of effort, other human beings require more effort. A sad side effect of political media saturation is that people keep bloody talking about it, and they don’t have an off-switch. (This blog entry is just another example.)

Luckily, I have developed several techniques for coping with this relentless tedium. The first is to disengage your brain, if possible wander off and do something else. This will make you look like an anti-social bastard, but I, for one, am more willing to do that than I am to be bored.

The second is to talk about something unrelated or, even better, related but much less worthy and more banal. It requires effort, but people will respect your desire to change the subject and eventually cave in. Either because they are secretly tired of it too, or because they are too polite to stop you.

Turn Up And Be Counted

To reiterate my good self from the start of this entry: I am not in any way advocating not voting or participating in democracy. As they once said in The West Wing, “decisions are made by those who show up”. So if you’re entitled to vote, you may as well.

After all, I’m still imagining I’m addressing an audience of cynics here, which means we like to complain about stuff. And we’ll be much more entitled to moan if we’ve made a token effort to swing the outcome our way.